8th Annual Walk to Remember

Please join us October 15th for the 8th Annual "Walk to Remember". October is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. The Fort Bragg and Womack Army Medical Center Community will hold a memorial ceremony and walk in honor of our cherished little angels who did not survive. There will be a short memorial ceremony at 5:30 p.m. outside of Womack Army Medical Center at the Reilly Road entrance.. In addition to the walk, there will be a time of reflection and a prayer in the memorial garden. The event is sponsored by the Department of Ministry at Womack Army Medical Center and the A.G.A.P.E. Support Group. All are welcome to attend this solemn event. You may call 910-907-7729/7185 or 910-303-2775 for more information.

Walk to Remember

Everybody would agree that really tough situations happen to people in all walks of life. It's the result of living and existing in a damaged world. Among those situations is pregnancy and infant loss. Baby loss arrives at the door step of so many families unexpectedly, shaking the foundation of hope, anticipation, and the enthusiasm the child brings. Dreams, goals, and mile stones come to a halt and grief ignites unimaginable thoughts and heart breaking emotions. Although grief comes and goes, the loss of a baby never goes away. Perhaps you or someone you know has experienced a baby or child loss. Please know that my heart goes out to you and yours.

Please join us on Tuesday, October 15th for the 7th Annual "Walk to Remember". October is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. The Fort Bragg and Womack Army Medical Center Community will hold a memorial ceremony and walk in honor of our cherished little angels who did not survive. There will be a short memorial ceremony at 5:30 p.m. outside of Womack Army Medical Center at the Reilly Road entrance.. In addition to the walk, there will be a time of reflection and a prayer in the memorial garden. The event is sponsored by the Department of Ministry at Womack Army Medical Center and the Addressing Grief And Pursing Enrichment (A.G.A.P.E.) Support Group. All are welcome to attend this solemn event. You may call Chaplain Rendon at 910-907-7729/7185 or 910-303-2775 for more information.

Return to Zero

While this film is intended for a wide-release to audiences regardless of their life experience, RETURN TO ZERO fills a particular niche for a market that has gone unserved -- those who have or know someone who has experienced the devastating loss of stillbirth, miscarriage, or neonatal death. The statistics on stillbirth, which is the loss of a child after 20th week of pregnancy, are remarkable. In the U.S. alone there are approximately 36,000 stillbirths a year. That is equivalent to the amount of people who die in traffic accidents across this country every year. Yet, this topic has never been the central theme of a feature film. The impact that one stillbirth has on the mother, the father, their family, and friends is devastating -- a shock-wave of pain, guilt and then, too often, silence. The majority of those affected, especially the mothers, suffer in this silence often believing that their grief and trauma is theirs to bear alone. While planning to entertain and enlighten all audiences with a dramatic tale of the strength and resilience of the human spirit, RETURN TO ZERO intends to break through the silence and become a beacon of cinematic light to the millions in search of answers, understanding and healing.

Keep up with how the film is progressing, options to donate, or pledge to see the movie at the main blog here.

Why you didn't fail as a mother

"You are not a horrible mother.

You didn’t choose this.  You didn’t want this to happen.  You didn’t do anything wrong.  It just happened.  To you.  Despite your begging, pleading, praying, hoping against all hope that it would not.  Even though everything within you was screaming, no no no no no no no no no no!!!!

God didn’t do this to you to punish you, smite you, or to “teach you a lesson”.  That is not God’s way.  You could not have prevented this if you:  tried harder, prayed harder, or if you were a “better” person.  Nor if you ate better, loved harder, yoga-ed more, did x, y, z to the nth degree or any other way your mind tries to fill-in-the-blank.  You could not have prevented this even if you could have predicted the future like no one can.

Even if you did nothing more, you are already the best mom there is because you would have done absolutely anything to keep your child alive.  To breathe your last breath to save theirs.  To choose the pain all over again just to spend one more minute with them.   That, is the ultimate kind of love.  You are the ultimate kind of mother.

So wash your hands of any naysayers, backstabbers, or anyone who sprinted in the other direction when you needed them the most.  Wash your hands of the people who may have falsely judged you, ostracized you, or stigmatized you because of what happened to you.  Wash your hands of anyone who has made you feel less than by questioning everything you did or didn’t do.  Those whose words or looks have implied that this was somehow your fault.

This was not your fault.  This will never be your fault, no matter how many different ways someone tries to tell you it is.

And most especially if that someone happens to be yourself.  Sometimes it’s not what others are saying that keeps us shackled in shame.  Sometimes we adopt others’ misguided opinions and assumptions about our situation as our own.    Sometimes it’s our own inner voice that shoves us into the darkest corner of despair, like an abuser, telling us over and over and over again that we failed as mothers.  That if only this and what if that, it would never have happened.  That youwoulda, shoulda done this or that so your child would not have died.  That is a lie of the sickest kind.  Do not believe it, not even for a second.  Do not let it sink into your bones.  Do not let it smother that beautiful, beautiful light of yours.

Instead, breathe in this truth with every part of yourself:  You are the best damn mother in the entire world. 

The kind of mother who people write books about.  The kind who inspires the world.

No one else could do what you do.  No one else could ever be your child’s mother as well as you can, as well as you are.  No one else could let your child’s love and light shine through them the way you do.  No one else could mother their dead child as well as you do.  No one else could carry this unrelenting burden as courageously.  It is the heaviest, most torturous burden there is.

You have within you a sacred strength.  You are the mother of all mothers.  There is no one, no one, no one that could ever, ever replace you.  No one.  You were chosen to be their mother.  Yes– chosen.  And no one could parent them better in life or in death than you do.

So breathe mama, keep breathing.  Believe mama, keep believing.  Fight mama, keep fighting, for this truth to uproot the lies in your heart— you didn’t fail.  You are not a failure.  Not even a little.

For whatever it’s worth, I see you.  I hear your guttural sobs.  I feel your ache deep inside my bones.  And it doesn’t make me uncomfortable to put my fingers as a makeshift band-aid over the gaping hole in your heart until the scabs come, when and if they do.

It takes invincible strength to mother a child you can no longer hold, see, touch or hear.  You are a superhero mama.  I see you fall down and get up, fall down and get up, over and over again.  I notice the grit and guts it takes to pry yourself out of bed every single day and force your bloodied feet to stand up and keep walking.  I see you walking this path of life you’ve been given where every breath and step apart from your child is a physical, emotional and spiritual battleground— a fight for your own survival— a fight to quiet the insidious lies.

But the truth is– you haven’t failed at all.  In fact, it’s quite the opposite.

You are the mother of all mothers.

Truly the most inspiring, courageous, loving mother there is– a warrior mama through and through.

For even in their death you lovingly mother them still."

Rebloged from Still Standing Magazine. Original link below.

stillstandingmag.com

Angel of Hope Ceremony

The Angel of Hope ceremony was as beautiful as ever!  Many thanks to Debbie and Gerri and Rendon for their parts in putting it together.  I was moved to see a few new faces and glad to know more are becoming aware of what this beautiful statue represents.

If you missed it this year, or were unable to attend for any reason, we do hope you mark your calendar and can make it out next December.  It is always on the 6th and begins at 7pm at Cross Creek park on Green St.

Here are a couple images from the new angel statue at the memorial garden at Womack. 

Walk to Remember 2012

Todays walk was such a huge success! I'm always amazed at how we manage to pull it off every year. In lieu of the candle light vigil, we officially dedicated and opened the small memorial garden next to the hospital. The new statue is just beautiful and the wind-chimes are lovely when the wind blows them. If you came here from the flyer, there is a button on the right that will take you to our AGAPE Support Group Facebook page. You must be logged in, or it will tell you the page can't be found. It is a private group and you will need to ask to be a member. It is a closed group as well, so anything you post there is only seen by us and you're welcome to talk freely among friends there. We do hope to see you at our next meeting on the 23rd of this month! Gentle days ahead and I hope this experience has had a little bit of healing.